Would you like them here or there?

Green Egg without the Ham

The boys went over to a friend’s today so that I may finish an article that was (and still is) way past its deadline.  No, I didn’t finish it and yes, I am writing this instead.  Writer’s block notwithstanding, I find on these occasions it is worth switching off totally from the piece in hand and write about something completely different.   Ok, most of you would have taken your children to the park, but here I am still at the PC, this time writing about an entirely different subject matter.   Given that the other article is about the importance of nutrition on the health of the eye, there is surely a tenuous link in there somewhere.

Whilst researching for an article on eye protection (which included the importance of a good diet) I came across two academic papers both in well respected journals, both of which concerns the ocular hazards of egg throwing.

Yes, both articles contain serious content and indeed most of the recipients of the thrown eggs have irreversible loss of vision in one eye.   But the reason for the link is that today, my friend have me a green egg. Yes a green egg. And yes, those articles are indeed for real.

Here in rural Leicestershire and thus back in the real world (allegedly) am gradually accepting the foibles of rural existence.  I don’t have chickens yet, but now that the dog has finally settled down from a boisterous childhood to an inquisitive and grumpy adolescence, and that my children are more independent (in no particular order of course) I may indeed consider investing in a Bantam or two before long.  Although most of our eggs come from the local farm rather than the local supermarket (unless completely unavoidable of course) I must admit that in all of my years I have never once come across a green egg!

Now having two children I am of course familiar with Dr Seuss. It is also fair to say that Green Eggs and Ham was one of my all time favourites, alongside that fish wish dish and, of course, those bottled beetles in that tweetle beetle battle.  When Alex was three or four I would push him around the supermarket in a shopping trolley quoting, much to his amusement, ‘would you like it here or there?’ or, ‘would you like them in a box?’  Given my intense dislike for my local supermarket, it seemed like a good way to while away my time there and make it a little more interesting for us both.  So when my friend handed me a green egg this afternoon, with, I hasten to add an enormous cheeky grin, I was totally captivated.  How bloody marvellous!

The sheer existence of this egg is so very exciting.  In fact it is magical. In fairness, it was given to Alex, a boiled egg lover, who is very curious to find out if it tastes any different to the farm eggs we have at home.  Callum, on the other hand dislikes eggs of any kind, and declared that he would rather his brother eat it.

Alex is now in bed planning an early morning tactical assault on his boiled green egg with a variety of butter-saturated  soldiers.

For me, however, finding the existence of this egg  is like outwitting the tooth fairy. So, on behalf of all parents who have discovered and enjoyed Dr Seuss over the years, just to be able to say tomorrow morning at the breakfast table,

“So, Alex, about that egg,

Could you, would you,
With a goat?
Would you, could you,
On a boat?”

I just can’t tell you how excited I am…

Apparently my friend now claims to have a blue egg. Now this I must see.  Bless you Kathleen. I shall be straight over.